Tracy had the birth of her dreams on Friday. She did this at our local hospital where such a birth, a VBAC, is banned! She came up with an amazing plan, and it worked out magnificently. This plan included hiring both myself and an OB. The result was an unprecedented collaboration between myself and someone who has been hostile towards me in the past. Let me fill you in on the details!
First, a little of Tracy's story... Tracy's first birth was the typical hospital induction that went awry and ended in cesarean section. Baby was posterior. She was induced with pitocin. She needed an epidural. The baby never rotated. She pushed for five or six hours, numb from the waist down and on her back. Not feeling the contractions, her team had to scream "Push!" for her when contractions showed up on the monitor. Rolled into surgery finally. The drugs from surgery gronked her little system so the first hours with her baby were just a blur, she can't even remember them. The first weeks were a misery of surgical pain, drug-induced fog, depression, and breastfeeding problems. She was shocked this had happened to her - her mother, grandma, and aunt all had easy natural births! She felt betrayed by her doctor, and upset with her husband and mother for not protecting her from this. She felt guilty for having such emotional turmoil around her birth experience, even though she got her healthy, beautiful baby. "My first birth was the worst experience of my life." She wanted her second to be the best.
Monday, October 10, 2011
Friday, September 30, 2011
100 Births
A few weeks ago I attended my 100th birth as Sacred Ways Midwifery. This is the first business I have ever owned, and I still remember how nervous I was six years ago when I took this leap, letting go of receiving a steady paycheck to pursue my true passion.. Fortunately, Chico was ready for more homebirth options, and the beautiful families came to seek my assistance and keep on coming.
One hundred births feels like a milestone in my practice. When we talk about birth, we often talk about risks of things as "x" in a hundred. Now looking back I can see what has happened in 100 births. For example, I've had 1 baby who wouldn't turn to head down and was born at home as planned breech. (We had a whole team of midwives for that amazing birth) . I've had three other babies who were breech at 36 weeks that we turned to head down before labor.
I've had many women in their forties, and one of them had a baby born with Down's syndrome. I've had one baby born with a cleft lip and palette, whom we syringe fed with breast milk overnight until we could get the special feeder in the morning . The baby arrived before me a couple times, mama in labor less than an hour. I've had one baby that required several minutes of help starting to breathe, and three others who just needed a couple breaths.
I' ve enjoyed many repeat customers. What a joy to see a family through the birth journey more than once! I've had many women come to me after having hospital births, wanting something different. I've had many first time mommas. Not a single set of twins yet but at least a third of all women ask me at the first visit, "Could I be carrying twins?"
My 100th baby belongs to Heather. She is a repeat client, whose strapping toddler Conner I saw into the world two years ago. Her sister- in- law Sarah has also had two lovely births with me. Heather lives an hour away, and I drove swiftly to her home on a hot August afternoon, remembering that she was ready to push by the time I arrived with Conner.
Sure enough, she was ready to push again when I arrived. She pushed and then said that something doesn't feel right. I decided to check her and see what was going on. When I did vaginal exam I found that she was completely dilated but it was not a head I was feeling! " The baby is breech " I said.....then I checked again. Well, maybe it is a head... but not the right part of the head. I felt around and felt a soft mound ....of....maybe it is the baby's privates? No, it really feels like head... Eyeball? Nose? In a hundred births I have NEVER been unable to tell what part was coming down!. In the hundreds of other births I've attended as nurse or hospital midwife I've never been unsure like this!. I didn't want to hurt anything so I withheld from poking too much. Heather rested on her side while we talked about her options. I knew that this not-knowing needed to be taken seriously. We were a good 25 min from a hospital, down winding country roads. After another brief try at pushing, we decided to go in.
When we arrived at the hospital, the OB checked her and said " the baby is breech!" Then he felt again...."the anus? The nose? Oh! It bit me! It is the mouth!"
Heather's baby had decided to come out MOUTH first. This is what that looks like:
The odds of this happening is about 1 in 600. Doesn't look very comfortable for the little one, does it? In fact, pushing in this position puts strain on the neck and can damage the head, neck and spine. Peyton was born by cearean section to save her little self and courageous Heather took it all in stride, grateful that we transported when we did and that her baby was safely in her arms. She was back home within two days, baby nursing like a champ.
One hundred births and never a dull moment.
One hundred births feels like a milestone in my practice. When we talk about birth, we often talk about risks of things as "x" in a hundred. Now looking back I can see what has happened in 100 births. For example, I've had 1 baby who wouldn't turn to head down and was born at home as planned breech. (We had a whole team of midwives for that amazing birth) . I've had three other babies who were breech at 36 weeks that we turned to head down before labor.
I've had many women in their forties, and one of them had a baby born with Down's syndrome. I've had one baby born with a cleft lip and palette, whom we syringe fed with breast milk overnight until we could get the special feeder in the morning . The baby arrived before me a couple times, mama in labor less than an hour. I've had one baby that required several minutes of help starting to breathe, and three others who just needed a couple breaths.
I' ve enjoyed many repeat customers. What a joy to see a family through the birth journey more than once! I've had many women come to me after having hospital births, wanting something different. I've had many first time mommas. Not a single set of twins yet but at least a third of all women ask me at the first visit, "Could I be carrying twins?"
My 100th baby belongs to Heather. She is a repeat client, whose strapping toddler Conner I saw into the world two years ago. Her sister- in- law Sarah has also had two lovely births with me. Heather lives an hour away, and I drove swiftly to her home on a hot August afternoon, remembering that she was ready to push by the time I arrived with Conner.
Sure enough, she was ready to push again when I arrived. She pushed and then said that something doesn't feel right. I decided to check her and see what was going on. When I did vaginal exam I found that she was completely dilated but it was not a head I was feeling! " The baby is breech " I said.....then I checked again. Well, maybe it is a head... but not the right part of the head. I felt around and felt a soft mound ....of....maybe it is the baby's privates? No, it really feels like head... Eyeball? Nose? In a hundred births I have NEVER been unable to tell what part was coming down!. In the hundreds of other births I've attended as nurse or hospital midwife I've never been unsure like this!. I didn't want to hurt anything so I withheld from poking too much. Heather rested on her side while we talked about her options. I knew that this not-knowing needed to be taken seriously. We were a good 25 min from a hospital, down winding country roads. After another brief try at pushing, we decided to go in.
When we arrived at the hospital, the OB checked her and said " the baby is breech!" Then he felt again...."the anus? The nose? Oh! It bit me! It is the mouth!"
Heather's baby had decided to come out MOUTH first. This is what that looks like:
The odds of this happening is about 1 in 600. Doesn't look very comfortable for the little one, does it? In fact, pushing in this position puts strain on the neck and can damage the head, neck and spine. Peyton was born by cearean section to save her little self and courageous Heather took it all in stride, grateful that we transported when we did and that her baby was safely in her arms. She was back home within two days, baby nursing like a champ.
One hundred births and never a dull moment.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
The Midwife Returns and the Revolution Unfolds
Dear readers,
It has been three months since my last post... I have been offline and out of town for most of the summer. This is by design, as I take time off midwifery during the summer so that the people known as My Family get my full attention. We took a month long camping trip up to Oregon and Washington. Spending time with my husband and kids in beautiful, natural places with no schedules, no interruptions, and no place to be but Here, Now means the world to me. Being self-employed we happily trade income for quality time. And what a time we had!
We got into some hot water (hot springs galore):
some white water:
and then the salty spray of the beautiful Pacific waters:
It has been three months since my last post... I have been offline and out of town for most of the summer. This is by design, as I take time off midwifery during the summer so that the people known as My Family get my full attention. We took a month long camping trip up to Oregon and Washington. Spending time with my husband and kids in beautiful, natural places with no schedules, no interruptions, and no place to be but Here, Now means the world to me. Being self-employed we happily trade income for quality time. And what a time we had!
We got into some hot water (hot springs galore):
some white water:
and then the salty spray of the beautiful Pacific waters:
Monday, June 13, 2011
Letter to a First-Time Mother
Dear New Mother-to-be,
Your life is full of excitement right now; joy and expectation. You are feeling new life within you and when you tune inward, you can sense that you are a part of the great mystery of creation. Many parts of your life may need shuffling around, requiring re-arrangement to make way for this new human, who will be joining our world soon thanks to your hard work. Perhaps there is more stress in your life than you would like, in which case I pray for your peace of mind, and for easier times. Taking good care of yourself is the number one job of an expectant mother - getting enough sleep, eating wholesome food, and cultivating joy and relaxation, all help to grow a healthy baby ready for a good and straightforward birth.
Our culture is so complex and information-saturated right now, that you are facing all sorts of important decisions right from the get-go! Will you find out the sex of the baby mid-pregnancy or not, will you have genetic testing or not, should you take hypno-birthing or Bradley classes, and on and on... All the choices feel confusing The biggest birth-related choice, the one that will provide the framework for all the other decisions and details of your birth experience, is this: Should you use a hospital based provider (doctor or midwife) and give birth in a hospital, or hire a homebirth midwife and have your baby at home?
Maybe you are just now realizing that you even HAVE a choice. It is likely that your own mother went to a hospital when she had you. Her mother may have given birth in a hospital as well but you can bet that your Grandmother's mother gave birth at home. Hospitals were not used for birth until the 1910s in urban areas and the 1940s in rural areas, just so you know. Before that babies were always, everywhere, born at home. For ages, since the dawn of humankind. But when you were growing up, birth in the hospital was the norm, and if you were like me, you never even HEARD of a midwife as a kid.
But now, you are a grown woman, and a pregnant one. Times have changed again and homebirth is suddenly something to consider. You are healthy and have taken relatively good care of yourself thus far. You may have a vague distrust of doctors and the medical system, which you have heard is driven by the engines of the pharmaceutical and insurance industries You may have relatives who have gotten sicker while taking drugs or treatments prescribed by doctors. And now that you are pregnant you are noticing that SO MANY of your friends have had hospital inductions that ended in c-sections. And if you ask around, you hear that in most U.S. hospitals there are 70-80% induction rates and that 32% of U.S. births end in c-sections. This is probably true of the hospital in your neighborhood. It is true of the three hospitals in our area. Yikes! In 1970 the c-section rate was 5%. And we all turned out fine! But what is homebirth all about? Is it really safe? It is hard to know where to turn, whom to trust. What is the "right" choice?
One thing I have learned in my work as a midwife is that there is no one-size-fits-all answer when it comes to pregnancy and birth. You are a unique woman, that baby inside of you will be a unique individual, and this birth will be uniquely your own experience. Your task as a blossoming new mother, is to learn how to take in external information and then turn inwards and listen to your own inner wisdom. That is right -YOUR WISDOM. You may think you don't know anything about this stuff, but your body knows everything it needs to grow your baby and give birth. Say you close your eyes and imagine giving birth easily in a pool of water and then picking up your baby and kissing her; your body tells you something right? It feels good, your body can almost feel what it would be like to hold your new baby. And say you hear about a scary emergency surgery where the baby was barely saved, you can feel the fear and the anxiety in your body, right? Pregnancy makes everything feel deeper, giving you the opportunity to really feel into your choices. So I ask you to not just THINK about your choices, but FEEL into your choices.
Your life is full of excitement right now; joy and expectation. You are feeling new life within you and when you tune inward, you can sense that you are a part of the great mystery of creation. Many parts of your life may need shuffling around, requiring re-arrangement to make way for this new human, who will be joining our world soon thanks to your hard work. Perhaps there is more stress in your life than you would like, in which case I pray for your peace of mind, and for easier times. Taking good care of yourself is the number one job of an expectant mother - getting enough sleep, eating wholesome food, and cultivating joy and relaxation, all help to grow a healthy baby ready for a good and straightforward birth.
Our culture is so complex and information-saturated right now, that you are facing all sorts of important decisions right from the get-go! Will you find out the sex of the baby mid-pregnancy or not, will you have genetic testing or not, should you take hypno-birthing or Bradley classes, and on and on... All the choices feel confusing The biggest birth-related choice, the one that will provide the framework for all the other decisions and details of your birth experience, is this: Should you use a hospital based provider (doctor or midwife) and give birth in a hospital, or hire a homebirth midwife and have your baby at home?
Maybe you are just now realizing that you even HAVE a choice. It is likely that your own mother went to a hospital when she had you. Her mother may have given birth in a hospital as well but you can bet that your Grandmother's mother gave birth at home. Hospitals were not used for birth until the 1910s in urban areas and the 1940s in rural areas, just so you know. Before that babies were always, everywhere, born at home. For ages, since the dawn of humankind. But when you were growing up, birth in the hospital was the norm, and if you were like me, you never even HEARD of a midwife as a kid.
But now, you are a grown woman, and a pregnant one. Times have changed again and homebirth is suddenly something to consider. You are healthy and have taken relatively good care of yourself thus far. You may have a vague distrust of doctors and the medical system, which you have heard is driven by the engines of the pharmaceutical and insurance industries You may have relatives who have gotten sicker while taking drugs or treatments prescribed by doctors. And now that you are pregnant you are noticing that SO MANY of your friends have had hospital inductions that ended in c-sections. And if you ask around, you hear that in most U.S. hospitals there are 70-80% induction rates and that 32% of U.S. births end in c-sections. This is probably true of the hospital in your neighborhood. It is true of the three hospitals in our area. Yikes! In 1970 the c-section rate was 5%. And we all turned out fine! But what is homebirth all about? Is it really safe? It is hard to know where to turn, whom to trust. What is the "right" choice?
One thing I have learned in my work as a midwife is that there is no one-size-fits-all answer when it comes to pregnancy and birth. You are a unique woman, that baby inside of you will be a unique individual, and this birth will be uniquely your own experience. Your task as a blossoming new mother, is to learn how to take in external information and then turn inwards and listen to your own inner wisdom. That is right -YOUR WISDOM. You may think you don't know anything about this stuff, but your body knows everything it needs to grow your baby and give birth. Say you close your eyes and imagine giving birth easily in a pool of water and then picking up your baby and kissing her; your body tells you something right? It feels good, your body can almost feel what it would be like to hold your new baby. And say you hear about a scary emergency surgery where the baby was barely saved, you can feel the fear and the anxiety in your body, right? Pregnancy makes everything feel deeper, giving you the opportunity to really feel into your choices. So I ask you to not just THINK about your choices, but FEEL into your choices.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Homebirth Photo Essay
Greetings! Today's post is short on words and long on lovely images. Here are some photos of Toni Rae being welcomed into the world by parents Kristin and Chad, and big sister Charlie. These are not labor photos but shots taken immediately after the birth, and then two hours later, during the newborn exam done on the bed with the family. These pictures capture one of the benefits of homebirth - after the hard work of birth, the family is in its own comfy bed to relax and take in the joyous miracle of their new baby. No strangers coming in and out, no machines beeping or nurses taking the baby to assess, wash, or "warm". Just uninterrupted bonding time. Enjoy!
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| Welcome Baby Toni! She is placed right into her mother's arms, where she gives a good cry to open up her lungs. |
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| Happy father embraces them both. Note the bliss on Kristin's face as she admires her new daughter. That look of utter delight often accompanies the completion of natural childbirth, a combination of "yes, I did it!" and "Oh! What a love!" |
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Excited sister Charlie loved seeing her baby born! She sat right beside me as the baby emerged. |
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| Now a weepy Grandma takes a look... "did that really just happen? Right here?" |
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| Kristin responds to her baby's cues that she is ready to nurse. This image shows how cozy the family is as the baby enjoys her peaceful first hours of life earthside. |
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| After the initial cry, home-born babies are usually alert but relaxed, taking in their new environment from the warmth and safety of mother's chest |
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| "Oooh...that is what those are for!" |
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| "My turn!" |
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| Giving the baby a thorough exam |
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| includes weighing |
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| and measuring |
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| and footprints... |
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| and finally a first diaper |
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| Definitely a keeper! |
Thursday, April 7, 2011
The Little School that Could
Many of us in the homebirthing community embrace alternative education for our young ones. If we folks are conscious about choosing how and where we give birth, it makes sense that we will also consider how to school our young. Waldorf education, homeschooling, and unschooling are some examples of these kinds of choices. My first daughter was born in Santa Cruz, California, and when she was a wee nursling tucked in my sling, I saw Rahima Baldwin speak about Waldorf education and the young child. It was music to my ears - an approach to education that seemed like homebirth midwifery for the child's mind and heart! Rahima Baldwin, by the way, had been a foremother of American homebirth midwifery and wrote Special Delivery, a classic homebirth book . Then she became a Waldorf educator, and her book You Are Your Child's First Teacher is one I recommend to new parents. I knew what I wanted for my children.
Waldorf education weaves art, music, handwork such as knitting and crochet, reverence for nature, and movement into reading and math. Waldorf classrooms are softly colorful, lessons are poetic, all materials are natural such as wood or wool with NO plastic, and all the children sing and learn music, including string instruments starting in third grade. "Accept the children with reverence, educate them with love, send them forth in freedom" says Rudolf Steiner, Waldorf founder. All subjects are introduced when developmentally appropriate, and the wonder and magic of childhood is nourished and left intact.
We moved to Chico in 2002 when Clarabel was two. Lo, and behold, Chico had a fledging Waldorf Charter School! Charter means public and tuition free, not private. Open to everyone, by lottery. The school was tiny, just one kindergarten class, but it would grow by one class each year until it was K-8. Clarabel started kindergarten there when it was K-2. There were about 50 students. Over the next several years the school slowy grew and blossomed into a beautiful community of families and teachers. We moved three times as we grew. The final move was last year into a closed-down Blue Shield Call Center that was built to look like an Ivy League campus on the outside, and was an ugly cavern on the inside. We transformed it into a beautiful school, tore up the asphalt parking lot, and built a playground with our own hands. Then we had to double our school size in one year to fill and pay for this giant new space. Now we had 350 kids, and a year of growing pains as we adjusted to so much change.
Then, this year, we almost lost our charter. I won't get into the details of the politics that led to this, but our charter was denied renewel by our original authorizing agency. So we wrote a new charter and took it to the Chico Unified school board for approval. Over the last several months we have worked hard to raise community awareness about our school, align our curriculum more closely to the standardized tests that are considered the "bottom line" to determine a school's success, and waited to see if our school would stay open. Last night, the board voted. After two hours of tense discussion, it was looking pretty bleak. The first motion of the vote was to CLOSE the school! It was quickly seconded. Then, by a miracle, one board member stood up and talked to her peers about looking beyond test scores, to other aspects of what an education is. She moved to give us our charter, and the motion was carried, three to two. It was incredibly emotional. Teachers, parents, children, all crying together with joy and relief that our blessed school would stay open. It felt like that moment of relief when we finally meet a baby, after a long, complicated labor. Bravo Blue Oak School, a beautiful, joy-filled school for our children, now for many years to come!
Waldorf education weaves art, music, handwork such as knitting and crochet, reverence for nature, and movement into reading and math. Waldorf classrooms are softly colorful, lessons are poetic, all materials are natural such as wood or wool with NO plastic, and all the children sing and learn music, including string instruments starting in third grade. "Accept the children with reverence, educate them with love, send them forth in freedom" says Rudolf Steiner, Waldorf founder. All subjects are introduced when developmentally appropriate, and the wonder and magic of childhood is nourished and left intact.
We moved to Chico in 2002 when Clarabel was two. Lo, and behold, Chico had a fledging Waldorf Charter School! Charter means public and tuition free, not private. Open to everyone, by lottery. The school was tiny, just one kindergarten class, but it would grow by one class each year until it was K-8. Clarabel started kindergarten there when it was K-2. There were about 50 students. Over the next several years the school slowy grew and blossomed into a beautiful community of families and teachers. We moved three times as we grew. The final move was last year into a closed-down Blue Shield Call Center that was built to look like an Ivy League campus on the outside, and was an ugly cavern on the inside. We transformed it into a beautiful school, tore up the asphalt parking lot, and built a playground with our own hands. Then we had to double our school size in one year to fill and pay for this giant new space. Now we had 350 kids, and a year of growing pains as we adjusted to so much change.
Then, this year, we almost lost our charter. I won't get into the details of the politics that led to this, but our charter was denied renewel by our original authorizing agency. So we wrote a new charter and took it to the Chico Unified school board for approval. Over the last several months we have worked hard to raise community awareness about our school, align our curriculum more closely to the standardized tests that are considered the "bottom line" to determine a school's success, and waited to see if our school would stay open. Last night, the board voted. After two hours of tense discussion, it was looking pretty bleak. The first motion of the vote was to CLOSE the school! It was quickly seconded. Then, by a miracle, one board member stood up and talked to her peers about looking beyond test scores, to other aspects of what an education is. She moved to give us our charter, and the motion was carried, three to two. It was incredibly emotional. Teachers, parents, children, all crying together with joy and relief that our blessed school would stay open. It felt like that moment of relief when we finally meet a baby, after a long, complicated labor. Bravo Blue Oak School, a beautiful, joy-filled school for our children, now for many years to come!
Monday, April 4, 2011
The Midwife in Hot Water
In the midst of a busy birthing season, I have been harboring a secret fantasy; zipping off to a hot springs resort for some solo relaxation time. These days my practice is so full that someone is due as soon as someone else gives birth - no time off for me until July, when I don't deliver babies. Except last week, when a tiny miracle unfolded for me. Instead of the one expected birth, I attend two in two days - someone went a couple weeks early! As I rolled out of bed in the dark of night to attend this birth, I realized - hey! I'm going to be off-call this weekend! I was fried, but I would be free.
Friday afternoon, I popped my little bag of snacks and my little bag of clothes into my car, and I was off on a weekend retreat to Harbin Hot Springs . Its funny how in the midst of raising a family, even the act of tossing ONE bag in the car for a trip seems so light and carefree. My hubby and the girls would have a great weekend here in town, and everyone would appreciate a happier, de-stressed Mom! I had known for a while I was in need of a break because everything was starting to feel heavy - the responsibilities of work, keeping house, the cooking, and the kids' activities, and on and on. I believe in BALANCE as a guiding principle in my life - when things are big and heavy in one direction, we need to swing a little in the other direction. Some carefree bliss was in order.
So what did I do during this weekend away? Relaxed profoundly. Soaked and soaked and soaked in the hot pools. Sunbathed. Received a knockout massage and a Watsu treatment. Got away from cell phones, computers, and cameras which are all NOT allowed at Harbin. Ahhhh....a midwife not checking her cell phone every half hour, how bizarre. I ate meals in the restaurant - organic and delicious, and had spiritual, uplifting conversations with fellow weekend Harbin-ites. For a mother to take 48 hours off cooking and tending to others - it is amazing! I read an inspiring book called A Woman's Worth by Marianne Williamson
Friday afternoon, I popped my little bag of snacks and my little bag of clothes into my car, and I was off on a weekend retreat to Harbin Hot Springs . Its funny how in the midst of raising a family, even the act of tossing ONE bag in the car for a trip seems so light and carefree. My hubby and the girls would have a great weekend here in town, and everyone would appreciate a happier, de-stressed Mom! I had known for a while I was in need of a break because everything was starting to feel heavy - the responsibilities of work, keeping house, the cooking, and the kids' activities, and on and on. I believe in BALANCE as a guiding principle in my life - when things are big and heavy in one direction, we need to swing a little in the other direction. Some carefree bliss was in order.
So what did I do during this weekend away? Relaxed profoundly. Soaked and soaked and soaked in the hot pools. Sunbathed. Received a knockout massage and a Watsu treatment. Got away from cell phones, computers, and cameras which are all NOT allowed at Harbin. Ahhhh....a midwife not checking her cell phone every half hour, how bizarre. I ate meals in the restaurant - organic and delicious, and had spiritual, uplifting conversations with fellow weekend Harbin-ites. For a mother to take 48 hours off cooking and tending to others - it is amazing! I read an inspiring book called A Woman's Worth by Marianne Williamson
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