Peace; the True Intent of Mother's Day

In the 1870s, a group of women created Mother's Day with the following proclamation:

Happy Mother's Peace Day
Arise, all women who have hearts, whether your baptism be that of water or of tears! Say firmly: “We will not have great questions decided by irrelevant agencies, our husbands shall not come to us, reeking with carnage, for caresses and applause.

“Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn all that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience. We women of one country will be too tender of those of another country to allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs.”

From the bosom of the devastated earth a voice goes up with our own. It says, “Disarm, disarm! The sword is not the balance of justice.” Blood does not wipe out dishonor nor violence indicate possession.

As men have often forsaken the plow and the anvil at the summons of war, let women now leave all that may be left of home for a great and earnest day of counsel. Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead. Let them then solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means whereby the great human family can live in peace, each learning after his own time, the sacred impress, not of Caesar, but of God.

In the name of womanhood and of humanity, I earnestly ask that a general congress of women without limit of nationality may be appointed and held at some place deemed most convenient and at the earliest period consistent with its objects, to promote the alliance of the different nationalities, the amicable settlement of international questions, the great and general interests of peace.

 Amazing, isn't it, that these words are as relevant today as they were 140 years ago?   So what can we do, ladies?  How can we stop the wars?

with love,

Dena

Midwife Sisters

    
      "A midwife must have a deep love for other women.  She knows that all women, including herself, are sometimes as elemental as the weather and the tides, and that they need each other’s help and understanding.  The true sisterhood of all women is not an abstract idea to her.”
                                                                                -Ina May Gaskin,
                                                                                Spiritual Midwifery, 3rd addition


             :The true sisterhood of all women" is a concept that resonated deeply with me when I first read Spiritual Midwifery, twenty four years ago.  I was single and living in NYC, far from my California home.  My sisters/girlfriends were my family.   And they still are.  Over my twenty years involved in midwifery, I have seen that sisterhood is indeed a core value of the profession.  This sisterhood is one essential piece that I love about being a midwife.  Midwives train each other, help each other, advise each other, and just plain love on each other.  Because there are just some things that only a sister midwife can understand.   There is an unspoken code among midwives, that if a sister midwife asks for help, you must do your best to help her. We treat each other the same way we treat our mothers and babies;  with respect and integrity.

    I just want to take a moment to tell about midwives who have been instrumental  along my journey.  The story of my career is interwoven with powerful midwife sisters.  When I was a student midwife at Yale School of Nursing, I trained in a midwife-run labor unit at North Central Bronx Hospital.  My preceptor, Lynn Chapman Stern CNM, was a feisty, snarky, tall blonde who had previously travelled the world by motorcycle.  Lynn made working twelve hour night shifts where I would deliver up to four babies a shift, fun.  Her clear words of advice for gently delivering the head, shoulders, body of each baby, whispered in my head for years after our time together.

        When I wanted to study home birth, Rondi Anderson CNM let me come catch all the Amish babies in her rural Pennsylvania practice for a summer.  She attended nine Amish home births a month, so in a summer I got to catch 25 babies.  She arranged for me to live on a farm with an Amish family. Hippie artsy Yale student living with kind, simple Amish family - I treasure the memories.  I would drive through the cornfields to get to births, passing folks on horse-and-buggy, with Beastie Boys blasting on my car stereo.  And of course, being a part of twenty five peaceful, uncomplicated Amish births planted the seed of Trusting Birth indelibly into my being. 

   When my family moved to Chico twelve years ago, I met the only home birth midwife working here at the time - Diane Lawrence.  Paula Emigh,  the midwife of Birthdance Midwifery, was her apprentice.  Diane welcomed me to the community with open arms.  She showed me her office and even gave me the complete inventory of her supply closet so I would know what to order for mine.  My friend Cynthia Banks CNM sent me all the paperwork from her home birth practice in San Franscisco, to model mine after.  Paula and I both began attending home births on our own here around the same time.There has never been a sense of competition between us, but there has always been backup and support.  The one time in ten years that two of my clients gave birth at once, Paula came and saved the day.

     A couple years into my practice, a young student midwife landed on my doorstep with tears in her eyes.  Jessica Mairs LM had relocated her family to Grass Valley for an apprenticeship that  immediately fell through.  Although I was unsure that I was ready, I became a preceptor for her school and trained her for the next two years.  Now she has a thriving practice in Grass Valley, Sierra Homebirth.  When I hear about Jessica, the awesome midwife, I can't help but feel a little rush of pride.  A couple years ago Katarra Shaw LM joined the Chico scene with a third home birth practice.  She and I have shown up to assist at births for each other when needed.  And here we all are together, celebrating a wedding last year. 

The Midwives of Chico - aren't we something...?

   Paula, Katarra, and I have been working together with the Chico Birth Network. Our mission has been to create better communication and collaboration with Enloe Hospital.  We have made great strides in the last two years of meetings, building bridges to benefit the families of Chico when transfer of care from home to hospital is needed.  We also meet every couple months along with our assistants and students, to peer review complicated and unusual cases.  We tell the stories, listen, learn, and advise each other.  And  feast on the most deluxe potluck brunches ever. 
    
Finally ,Yelena Kolodgi CNM and Kavita Noble CNM , Bay Area home birth midwives have given me hours of support and invaluable advice as I have nagivated my bureaucratic proceedings with the Board of Nursing. The above link directs you to Stand By Your Midwives for more info on legal issues faced by California home birth CNMs.  My beloved friend from nursing school Sarah Shealy CNM flew up from LA for the day on her birthday to attend a Nursing Board meeting and speak up for home birth CNMs.    

These wonderful women, along with my assistants over the years, Serra Wells and Amber Eandi, show me again and again, that this term "sistering" that is buzzing around the web is no joke.  I will even take it further.  Here's what i think:   Women are the weavers of the cosmic web that actually holds the world together. 

Here's to you, ladies.

   

Happy Holidays !

   December has been a beautiful month for home births.   I love my job because I am always meeting new friends. 
Here are my two latest new buddies:

     Babies born in the Christmas season remind me that we are all precious, we are all miracles, we are all Children of God, if you will.   Every birth reminds me of the holiness of each human life.  May we all work together to bring Peace to ALL children around the world, and bring HEALING to our planet, the Mother of us all!

Okay, and on a lighter note, check out these Holiday Cookies for the Midwife who has Everything, baked by new Mom Ninette Daniele, whose son is in my arms in the above picture:

See you in 2016!

warmly,    Dena

September 2015 Update

Dear Friends,

     Thank you for your support while I have navigated a complicated legal situation between myself and the California Board of Nursing. In helping me, you help the cause of womens rights during pregnancy and birth, and keep access to health care options for the families of Chico California.

     There is still not a “final outcome” to this journey, but I do have some updates I would like to share. First of all, the donations I received from the Chico benefit concert in May and the Gofundme website have covered my legal expenses and the fines I am to pay the Board of Nursing. My family and I are deeply grateful for the relief of such a stressful financial burden.


  But beyond that, this outpouring of support has  rejuvenated my strength and my spirit.  Over the summer I spent a few weeks camping with my family.  I had quiet hours to sit by a rushing creek under green old growth trees in Oregon.  I finally had time to take in what a tremendous showing the Chico community made, when I reached out for help.

   I thought about the benefit concert - the hundreds of people who came out and donated and celebrated with me.  I thought of the 126 people who made online donations to my cause.  126!   I remembered the sight of our crew of mamas, babies either strapped on or else still inside round swelling bellies, working all day to put on a party full of flowers , art, music, food, drinks, and silent auction.   I know it was not for me, in an ego or personal sort of way.  It was for me because of I am Chico's home birth nurse-midwife.  It was a showing of love for myself and also for  the families I have cared for over the last ten years. 

    Your response to my call for help has re-inspired me.  I see how important my services are to the people in my community, and how much Chico values home birth midwifery.  I won't give up!  I will to continue to stand up for the rights of women and babies to have safe, gentle home birth experiences.    I thought I would close my business this fall, because I was feeling exhausted and defeated.  But thanks to all of you, I have changed my mind, and am still helping families.  Just last night, with the bright Super Moon shining on us through the sliding glass door, I welcomed a beautiful baby boy into the world.

    Statewide, there are  positive steps being taken improve the situation for nurse-midwives in home birth practice.    AB 1306 has been tabled for the year, but it unanimously passed the State Assembly, and will be on the ballot again in 2016. 

   In the Superior Court of California, a judge ruled that the Board of Nursing must allow nurse-midwife Yelena Kolodgi to continue her home birth practice while on nursing license probation. This took a year-long battle to get her back to work after her probation began, but hopefully sets a precedent for other midwives (such as myself) placed on probation.

Thank you for standing with me, and with Chico California mothers and babies.

Warmly,


Dena Moes RN MSN CNM

An OB and I work Together: Tracy has the VBAC of her Dreams

    Tracy had the birth of her dreams on Friday.  She did this at our local hospital where such a birth, a VBAC, is banned!   She came up with an amazing plan, and it worked out magnificently.  This plan included hiring both myself and an OB.   The result was an unprecedented collaboration between myself and someone who has been hostile towards me in the past.   Let me fill you in on the details!

     First, a little of Tracy's story...   Tracy's first birth was the typical hospital induction that went awry and ended in cesarean section.   Baby was posterior.  She was induced with pitocin.  She needed an epidural.  The baby never rotated.  She pushed for five or six hours, numb from the waist down and  on her back.  Not feeling the contractions, her team had to scream "Push!" for her when contractions showed up on the monitor.  Rolled into surgery finally.  The drugs from surgery gronked her little system so the first hours with her baby were just a blur, she can't even remember them.  The first weeks were a misery of  surgical pain, drug-induced fog, depression, and breastfeeding problems.  She was shocked this had happened to her - her mother, grandma, and aunt all had easy natural births!  She felt betrayed by her doctor, and upset with her husband and mother for not protecting her from this.  She felt guilty for having such emotional turmoil around her birth experience, even though she got her healthy, beautiful baby.  "My first birth was the worst experience of my life." She wanted her second to be the best.